Drawing the line when it comes to his friends
It is indeed a big deal when he decides he wants to introduce you to his friends; it is a sign that he perceives the relationship with at least a degree of seriousness. However, it is also the time when you need to figure out how much salt the relationship holds for you. Are you at a stage where you would want to introduce him to your friends? If yes, then you most certainly should come to terms with the fact that you are no longer just hooking up with each other; you are now, officially, dating a sugar daddy.
But what happens when the evening with his friends starts heading downhill? You can never be sure how his friends are (though this is no reflection on him); they may be loud, pompous, chauvinistic, insolent, misbehaved, or all of the above. How do you deal with it, especially considering that stomping out of the party is not a viable alternative? You aren’t allowed to be rude and tell them off; that’s not going to go down well with your sugar daddy. At that moment, the only thing you can do is swallow the anger and plaster a charming smile across your face.
However, the equation changes once both of you are alone again. You need to categorically underline to him that his friends are his friends, and they don’t need to share the same equation with you. You’ll respect their friendship, but that’s about it. Make it clear that you don’t like spending time with his friends; he’s probably going to appreciate your honesty; everyone prefers a John Worthing to a lying Earnest. Even if he doesn’t seem very happy about it, give him time to accept it. A successful relationship needs to take into consideration both your happiness, not just his.
There are those amongst us who’ll tell themselves, “I’ll just ignore it this time, not like I have to bear it often.” Though choosing this line of thought is a personal choice, I’d advice against it because your sugar daddy will automatically assume that you liked the evening. This makes the future dangerous territory, since he might work towards making you socialize to a greater extent with his mates and when you raise reservations that you had hitherto kept mum about, it’ll take him by surprise and lead him to classify your behavior as unreasonable. Then follows a lengthy argument and I’m pretty sure that’s a road you definitely don’t want to go down.
Another thing you need to keep in mind is not to flip your top if he defends his friends’ behavior. It is a very human trait to come to your friends’ defense; you’d have done the same if he was castigating your friends. Hear him out, and then tell him that you respect his opinion and that you don’t expect anything more than the same from him. Not only will he get the message, but you’d also have managed to successfully avoid an uncomfortable meeting in the future without antagonizing the man important to you.
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kelly19
1/16/2014
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